F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

One of the reasons why I’ve always looked forward to university, besides the whole widening-your-academic-horizon perspective, has been to make friends. A lot of the people I know have made lifelong friends during their university days. I’ve heard this from relatives, teachers and friends. Despite what I’ve heard and experienced myself that university can be isolated and lonely (although only on some days), I looked forward to meeting new people, especially when I knew I’ll be studying in a foreign country.

Little did I know about meeting new people in a new country, let alone a non-English speaking one. Safe to say, I wasn’t ambitious when it came to doing this – I naturally assumed, much to my disappoint that it would simply ‘happen’. For me, the assumptions are simple: You are in an academic institution. You will socialize because no man is an island. You will meet new people and find your cliques. You will hang out with them, more often than others. Apparently, it’s not all that simple.

When it comes to the very act of actually making friends, I’m rather shy. I usually force myself to say hello or initiate a conversation the same way I forced myself to stay calm on stage or when I’m doing a presentation – it’s good acting. So, in that sense, I’m quite passive – depends on the situation, of course. I’ve tried meeting up with groups of people from forums, university parties only to find myself disappointed, again and again. I would like to stress, however, that I’ve made friends and that I’ve gone out for movies, drinks etc. but none that I can call a ‘lifelong-friend’. Unfortunately, almost every valid reason I can think of is somehow linked to German society or the fact that psychology students are just w.e.i.r.d. No comments.

Even a few people, whom I thought, have known me rather well, realized just last week that I’m from Singapore and not Indonesia because Singapore does not belong to Indonesia and is an independent country. This after two years of so-called ‘friendship’. And so, I take on a very laid-back role, more reserved and reluctant than before cos’ I can’t seem to be bothered about this. I have made a few good friends and I can live with that. And, I already have a handful of friends, I foresee being befriended with till I die – so that’s good enough, no?